#this is not to say he doesnt feel. he does! its just hard to figure out what hes feeling
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another hlvrai thought i can't really word right: tommy always portrayed as emotionally intelligent and emotional but i think he's 100% the opposite. I think he's kinda disconnected from his emotions and doesn't know how to express them. you can see this really clearly in "do you... want a soda?" bc gordon's freaking out super bad but tommy doesn't know what to do to make him feel better- he knows he wants to make gordon feel better, so offers him something he knows makes himself and others happy but in terms of comforting gordon... he mostly stays silent. probably dissociating. he's quiet for a lot of the series, actually! it's weird to look back on.
anyway uuhh idk how to word it but take this:
#he shows he cares in actions more than words#this is not to say he doesnt feel. he does! its just hard to figure out what hes feeling#aka hes nd hehe#hlvrai#tommy coolatta
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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i think it would be funny if in the future daniel + julia try to convince sasja to give polyamory/them as a throuple a shot
#like a reversal of step talking them into a being a triad in retri#been a while since ive played and definitely since ive played a chargeflystep run so. not confident in my memory#i just thknk it would be neat ! funny !#sasja still hates julia but. she knows now. and he knows that she knows. and thats not the reason she didnt save him#he still hates her for that hates her for leaving him. but. he also knows now that hes done much worse so. shrug#and in some runs he does accidentally drug-addledly confess to still being in love w her#and ! hes going to therapy and he does take it serious ! he can be difficult and lash out but. he does listen to what finch has to say#(and is willing to Work on things and like. have therapy Homework post retri)#and he wants. he doesnt want to be this (terror) anymore. he went to far he can see that now daniel made him see that. he wants to be.#something. better ? less murderous. less violent ig. i think he just doesnt want to hurt daniel again but. theres lots that could hurt him#anyway ! all that to also say - daniel is (supposedly) very perceptive and even tho hes not in the room when sasja confesses to julia#i dont think it would be hard for him to figure out that sasja misses julia (he still hangs out with her. even tho hes told her to fuck off#fuck off a thousand times) and ? maybe he would see or feel that theres still something there between them and#and idk. maybe daniel and ortega talk. maybe sasja and his romantic past w julia comes up. maybe ortega is like. it is what it is hes#hes clearly in love with you anyway so... but ? maybe......#idk ! im tired ! forgot where im going w this. idk how they get there but. maybe the float the idea by sasja. see if he would be willing to#to give julia another shot#(this came about bc i was thinking about how its funny that he + milo (+ vanya) are polyamorous but while milo#milo is dating as many people as she can sasja is just dating one person rn. i just think the contrast is funny)#sasja x daniel x julia#sasja jespersen#op#fh#sasja x julia#sasja x daniel
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sorry i am having Real Emotions about this cm punk thing (and the sonny kiss thing) and also how AEW has been dog shit .
#milo.txt#not to be controversial on main but .#1) @TK just say you hate women and go. it has become increasingly obvious how little you care about the women on your roster#2) stop fucking . booking shit like ur smashing action figures together. yes wrestlers r dolls nd yes we make them fight fuck nasty in the#ring and kiss but that doesnt mean that you can just. squish wrestlers together and have it make sense (see adamjf vs. dark order.)#you HAVE to build up a story. you have to add context and emotion and personality to it. you cannot just pick wrestlers like ur throwing#a dart at a board. anyways .#3) i feel like AEW's roster has gotten SO large that storylines and whatever have become diluted. like there are SO many people (that he is#ACTIVELY NOT USING) that its like hard to follow whats happening and what feuds are occurring .#4) its also increasingly obvious to me how little he cares about queer wrestlers (see what he did to sonny + how he treats nyla rose +#how queer wrestlers are very often tokenized but not utilized or showcased)#5) i can also see where his . loyalty? lies (see to the elite) because i do feel like that has effected storylines (still REALLY angry how#their feud w the bcc went down whatever)#anyways i just feel like . AEW has been dog shit for a little bit and its just going to get worse bc TK literally does not know what hes#doing.
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I believe that IF Silver IS a descendent of Sonic/Shadow/Amy/anyone else, he's a descendent via adoption because the only Sonic character that I accept having kids is Vanilla.
honestly part of the reason im not a fan of the ideas of silver being a descendant of other characters we already know is because i just dont see why its necessary for them to be related ..? idk i just dont think anything that could be gained from him being shadows kid or sonics descendant or whatever is worth losing part of whats already compelling about silver and also making things super confusing. plus none of the pairings of already existing characters people have suggested as silvers bio parents make any sense, usually because its impossible from a timeline perspective but also because theyre always picking characters who would NOT have kids either in general or with the specific people theyre being paired with
#i also just kinda have a hard time imagining most sonic characters who arent already parents (so. most of them) wanting to be parents#it just does not feel right to me#i guess part of it could be an age thing . being a parent is an Adult thing and most sonic characters are not adults#so imagining them doings things that only adults do by in universe standards just feels strange and foreign to me#even though these scenarios would obviously take place a couple decades into the future#but also even when specifically thinking about it through the lens of ''would this character want to be a parent when theyre older''#the answer is usually no or idk#because there are a lot of characters where it just doesnt feel like it fits them?#sonic and rouge are a couple characters i can name off the top of my head who i know for sure would not have kids.#shadow im not so sure about either. yet he is the most common choice for silvers bio parent. pain#thing about shadow and silver is i think a timeline where shadow is actually around to meet little silver and is like#a mentor/older brother/guardian figure of sorts does kinda have potential to be interesting but i dont really want that to be made canon#but shadow straight up being his dad? idk man. not really into that. shadow being his biological dad? ABSOLUTELY not into that .#people having the present version of shadow whos a teenager barely older than silver being a dad to him?? weird as hell. no#asks#also part of what bugs me about the shadow as silvers dad stuff is people pretending its anything more than a baseless headcanon#like im not saying all headcanons have to have proof behind them but people act like the shadow as silvers dad thing#is an actual plausible theory that could be true and has tons of evidence? when it really doesnt ??#i feel the need to specify that im not trying to police what people do or aynthing just sharing my opinions
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.
#im gonna say smth and no one is allowed to say a fucking Word. i need to . type this out bc i cant Say It Out Loud#but . it is slighrly disgusting and patheyic (imo) and just . huh .#anyway . the tightening in evety inch of my body at the idea that . i might not get what i want (*) . but that even if i dont get that#ill get Something somewhat better n its just .#hard to swallow. bc im so tired for settling for what i dont want .#like letting go of shit ivrlly want for smth thats supposedly better for me#letting did not look like a real word just then what the fuck man#anyway . it is awful bc like . having so many realisations n realising that . ive forgiven a lot less and a lot worse .#n its a whole thing i cant get into bc im figuring out what exactly . thst sys abt me and where it stems from#it feels Okay . like its coming grom a Good Place. n not one of low seld worth#but like . having to possibly actually settle for less than what i actually want . is awful bc i dont like doing that and im tjred of doing#that. even if its good / better for me?#i cannot think of any other situstion simular rn other than yhe job fuckery. but . never wity a person#have i felt like this. n i dont know where or why its a Thibg. butcit is. ajd i dont know why hes fucking different.#but so much is out of my control !!!! and idk what to do anymore except just . keep pretendinf he doesnt exist#and moving like i did in high school: just zignoring how i feel bc i see the fucker constantly#it genuinely does parallel to hs rn how do i keep .#but also how is this a conpletely new situstion ive Never Exprrienced. how is this haopening to me.#i keep thinkibg abt the letter j wroye to my 21st (on my 18th) n i havent opened it#bc i missed opening it actually on my 21st. so i decided to live out actually being 21 before i#opebed the letter just to see how much had actually changed.#gonna open it aroubd my birthday. im terrified. bc i reread that letter 5x vefore wrappibg it uo. and ive thought abt it Constantly#to rmber its contents bc im Obsessed with it somehowm butbi still dont know .#i plan tocwritr another for my 25th. n 27th thrn again my 30th.#theyre fun lil time capsules . n its nice . i used to do 6montg to yearly ones but . shit got so bad i did Not wanna keep writing abt it .#so . this Will be fun . it was the 1st attemot at that too like . its why i started the 6mth letters bc i wanted to see the gradual sgifts#n reread them on my 21st but life had other plans apparently.#anyway.
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i have many thoughts on how Mouthwashing handles the themes of abuse and the symbolism around it especially as a survivor ... im not gnna hold back so -
first of all i think since its clear the point Jimmy is dismissive of Anya´s personhood and his perception is warped towards what he does as a Captain rather than what he does as a man, it makes sense she doesnt get her own labyrinth or such , i cant argue around that because its realistic he´s so male focused he cant even bother to truly think about what he did to her, i would love it if Wrong Organ decides to do a side story vignette of her own perspective and view in the future if the game proves its successful enough for side content like that.
Assault is something usually not handled with subtlety in games, i think what struck me the most was how real the dialogue of her coping and suicidal ideations and how Curly responded to it felt , the dancing around the subject, the deflection, the "whats next" of the ever impending consequence of pregnancy, how Anya pleads for help from the person she trusts but nonetheless a man unequipped and too emotionally attached to the abuser to be able to confront him, its so real, Curly´s lack of initiative is something Jimmy fully takes advantage of the moment things dont go his way, he turns everyone against him even as a helpless body on a bed because he needed to be in control of the situation, thats what abusers do.
A more sensationalistic game would have easily played Anya´s helplessness and assault for shock for sure, because it would be easy, she is the archetypical victim trope, shes modeled in Wendy Torrance likeness from The Shining, shes meek and unsure of herself and Jimmy shoots her down from the very beginning to make her feel unqualified and cornered, but the furthest the games goes is making Jimmy terror towards the pregnancy and the baby as a boogeyman that crawls and tramples over him. No sights of bleeding legs or her crying or screaming and much less present objectification of her body (which is something that i always think the horror genre has such a struggle not grabbing onto, sexuality is mostly always played up in assault stories especially if the victim is an adult woman), she remains a fully clothed figure and maintains the agency to her own demise, away from Jimmy and beside Curly, which is tragic and obviously still a symptom of horror´s proclivity to back female characters into corners of self inflicted punishment, but the alternative would have been that sooner or later, Jimmy would have killed her.
Its clear to me that the game used Curly´s state as a way to put a barrier between Jimmy and Anya, we dont objectify Anya, but we objectify Curly, Anya doesnt just feel pained and unable to handle Curly´s medication because shes in a sensitive state, her comments about his noises and such draws a line between her trauma and her perception of things as Her fault, she cant handle hearing his struggles and cries trying to swallow a pill because it reminds her of her own helplessness, so she leaves the task to Jimmy, someone who has no qualms in forcing someone down, the emphasis of every treatment as a repetitive process and the sound design is all very poignant and for me, a great way to handle assault as a metaphor, Curly did not consent to being in this position, it is very much still Jimmy´s fault and the fact that Jimmy is basically keeping him alive against his will even to the last moment of the game says everything, Jimmy doesnt love Curly the same way he doesnt love Anya.
The horses are not lost on me, i think horses as animals are often seen as "viril" symbols, strong and often volatile, they can be often hard to mount but when one does the rider and animal are seen as this one all powerful entity, like centaurs, which also carry symbolism of assaulters mind you, so while maybe not intentional on the dev´s part i think it still points to the Horse as a symbol still important in the game, the only spoken audio lines of dialog come from the Pony Express mascot Polle itself, and they are the first to actually confront Jimmy´s self centered line of thought and over-focusing on Curly, if the Tulpar is akin to a beast of a burden then Jimmy beat the dead horse way long ago.
All in this to say that Mouthwashing was a really good experience and i really hope the dev team is interested on expanding a bit more on it because i trust their vision.
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saw someone who hc kabru as aromantic bisexual. thats actually kinda good. i dont necessarily subscribe to it but i could see it. not fully aro but in the spectrum i guess
im now just going to ramble about how i think this would work in my head. also labru bc this is my page
he sees flirting more as a game n marriage as something convenient than something he aspires to achieve w the one he loves
flirting n dating is more of a tool to make friends. he isn’t interested in getting serious so that usually turns them off, so he gets labeled as a ‘player’
he doesn’t return rin’s feelings even though he finds her physically attractive, because he genuinely values her friendship and the way he views romance is incompatible with hers and would just break her heart
ok labru territory turn away now sorry im pulling shit out of my ass atp
laios would fit right in with his preferences, because their relationship would be boiled down to “best friends who have sex” like, the easiest way for them to explain their thing
even if they go on dates, they’d be more interested in talking about a current topic or something they need to do, than super sappy stuff. they still do it! but kabru would kinda get uncomfortable with saying sappy stuff, it’s different from flirting. once laios recognizes this, he tells him he doesnt have to do that
it works out because while laios is kinda sentimental, he isn’t really a romantic person. when they were still figuring stuff out, laios just goes “x is mad at me because they think not doing y makes me a bad partner” but really, kabru doesn’t care whether he does it or not
if laios is saying this about a different partner, kabru would chastise him, but since it’s him, he’s totally fine with none of that happening
when it comes to them becoming spouses, they would rather forgo a real wedding and just do the paperwork to make it happen. marcille takes offense to this n thinks its an “affront to romance” esp since kabru wants to plan HER wedding, but neither of them think it’s a big deal
laios has a very hard time distinguishing his platonic feelings to his romantic feelings. he’s just very happy kabru that wouldn’t leave him or get bored of him. getting to kiss him and have sex with him is just a nice bonus.
kissing and cuddling is more of an emotional recharge or comfort etc for kabru than a romantic activity. his friends don’t get it at all.
even in my stupid baby universe its just “kabru wants to have a baby with me for the kingdom? he’s such a nice guy. he told me he wants utaya to live on too… thats so thoughtful.” their relationship is ‘blunt’ and ‘convenient’. the marriage was just to legitimize the heir and otherwise it was just a regular wednesday.
they love each other, but kabru expresses it to the extent that he could, and that works out for laios.
tl;dr basically someone who views romance as a performance than something ingrained w him x someone who struggles w romance. its totally fine if you dont see kabru on the aromantic spectrum, i don’t necessarily see it that way either! i just want to think about how it would work in my fanworks. what do u think. i should add more but im just going off at the top of my head LOL
#labru#then again labeling it as aromanticism is just more Convenient#than whatever the hell is happening in kabru’s beautiful autistic mind
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sorry for the train ride… I hope the destination is at least interesting. I would LOVE to hear more about Przemek… he’s one of my absolute faves and I would honestly love to hear anything about him… maybe what inspired you to make him? or how he feels about his sexuality? or maybe his ethnicity (which I remember you saying you didn’t really have an answer for, but maybe you could talk about possible ideas you’ve had for it or how it affects his personality/how people treat him)
Nothing to be sorry for. i love trains. But it is a long trip with nothing but my phone and one book. Well not anymore im in Gdańsk now
Any way this is fun Przemek is one of my favourites as well. I created him because i wanted Ryba to have more friends, so he was very much a side/background character that i learned to love very much very quickly. Im not even sure why. Design wise there were plenty of inspirations... mainly the unbread twins from omori (which i think is where Lena came from as well and it shows), Artur from parties are for losers and Norton IDV (hence the scar... in the first draft Przemek was also a miner so it was very much my Norton at home). He used to be the straight man to Rybas whole... being at that time. They used to be childhood friends but Przemek was the smarter and more of a loner of the two. Tried looking for some old art of him but couldnt find much
Sexuality wise hes mostly in denial. He doesnt like thinking of himself as queer and doesnt want to be considered a part of the community, which affects the way he treats others (initial embarrasement to be seen with Ryba or Mikita, who are either visibly queer or just simply stand out; he grows out of it as the story progresses) and later on shapes his relationship with Ryba (mostly his struggles with being vunreable and opening up mixed with a very crushing need to be normal; he tends to force himself to do things he doesnt really want but thinks will be either for the ultimate greater good or just to be able to lie to himself more, either harming himself or Ryba in the process. Communication is a skill they both are learning as they go but it is a hard one)
And exact ethnicity wise I Dont Know. Well i mean he is polish ethnically and culturally but he does have darker skin from back where the story was set in a fictional dystopian world and i never figured out how to make it work with the background he has in current more historically grounded DNS. Most probably will never know until it just dawns on me one day. In the original DNS story hes simply "from here" (as is the case with most of the characters) and it doesnt really shape his experience as much as his class and upbringing does; hes catholic, he speaks polish, his family are peasants and hes a working man. In modern au its a different case that i dont know how to resolve and he does have a different experience with it; i dont like being cruel to my characters, especially with things i dont have personal experiences with, but i do know my country pretty well, so i can imagine some of the hardships he has to go through. It definitely can be a stress factor; hes a shy, slightly anxious person (which he doesnt even realize that he is? Second nature), so "standing out" and possible conftontations that can come with looking different in a relatively middle sized nowhere town is something he had to learn how to ignore throughout his life. I will finish this by saying i think it would be funny if it turned out some of his ancestors are from the old yugoslavia but not to explain anything just because i think at some point he used to be half balkan (and also many other slavic identites) . No clue from where exactly and it wouldnt affect him at all. Normal thing in lower silesia but he is from the other side of the country. Sadly. Bit of a lacking response hope you can forgive me for that
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Today on my headcanons: are they superstitious?
Note that with superstition I'm primarily talking about belief in/worship of supernatural creatures/practices outside the Gods and known magic. Think knocking on wood/throwing salt over your shoulder/buying fortune slips. However I will make exceptions on beliefs in Gods/Entities that are not explicitly true, like the rumours surrounding some of the Youkai in Inazuma and how to avoid them.
With that being said:
In general, I think out of the regions, Inazuma and Liyue would be the most superstitious, with Mond and Snezhnaya close behind. Yes, Natlan, Fontaine and Sumeru have their own magical creatures and such, but Inazuma, Liyue and Mondstadt have much more obvious displays of superstition- Mond mostly in regards to the Gods (yes including Andriud and Vanessa) and Liyue and Inazuma with their prominent non-human population. Youkai and Adepti seem much more elevated above and less integrated in the general population than Foxians and Elves in Sumeru or Saurians in Natlan/Melusines in Fontaine. Snezhnaya I'm mostly going off of vibes tbh.
Least superstitious I'd say is Khaenri'ah, which is funny given that they're almost entirely based off of/inspired by Germanic Mythology.
I'd say my final order would be Inazuma > Liyue > Snezhnaya/Mond > Natlan > Fontaine > Sumeru > Khaenri'ah
As for the Fatui:
Pierro: Literally from the Atheist nation, so no, and he thinks it's stupid. Unlike a certain someone, though, he keeps his opinion to himself unless asked about it.
Capitano: no, but respects it when others are. Will participate for traditions, or to pay tribute to others culture. Does follow some superstitions just out of habit, but will gladly subvent them If necessary.
Dottore: actively looks at superstitious, tries to figure out how to do them wrong/offend the entity the worst, then does that.
Columbina: ABSOLUTELY superstitious. Technically stronger than most entities, but thinks they traditions are fun, so she follows them. Makes up her own little rumours as well.
Arlecchino: Not really superstitious, but tries her best to follow actual rules that surroung some of Teyvats non human residents, just to be sure. Fontaine is relatively low key in this regard compared to some other reasons, so she mostly doesnt have to worry about it
Crucabena: used to be incredibly superstitious when she was younger, but grew out of it for the most part. Likes using scary fairytales to get the children to do what she says, but lowkey kind of believes some of them herself on a lesser scale.
Pulcinella: yes. The grandpa type of superstitious. Doesn't take it too seriously, but definitely would rather follow the traditions then not.
Scaramouche: Kind of hard to explain. Inazuma definitely seems more suitable for superstition, given the Youkai, but considering his own heritage he's very aware about which legends are true and which aren't, and doesn't feel very threatened by them. Used to follow superstitions out of politeness as Kabukimono, now he doesn't really care. Imitates Dottore in actively disobeying tradition, but only in regard to the Shogun and Yae- he doesn't dislike the youkai enough to try and piss them off on purpose, although he definitely doesn't go out of his way to respect them either. Actually probably has quite a few urban legends and superstitions surrounding himself as Kunikuzushi and the Kabukimono.
Sandrone: no. Doesn't give a fuck. Thinks Dottore's approach is really annoying because he's actively inconveniencing everyone else in the process, but she herself wont follow tradition unless its useful to her.
La Signora: it's a little hard Not zo project on her (and Pierro) given they're from the nations inspired by my culture xD For her, I'd say surprisingly yes. She wont follow Seelies in the dark because they remind her of Will O' Wisps, and definitely believes Dragonspine and Old Mondstadt are haunted. Has shared books on scary Mondstsdtian fairytales (look I need to bring up German fairytales whenever possible) with Crucabena more than once.
Pantalone: Kind of. He used to follow all the good luck superstitions when he was a kid, but have up on them when they werent working.
Childe: a little weird case. Definitely kind of believes in Snezhnayan superstitions (and post Scaramouche leaving he believes in Inazuman ones, because remember the paper mansion?), but likes to take them as a challenge. Will be told to watch out for evil spirits and intentionally try to goad them into fighting him, but doesn't do that around his elders because it's rude and some of them get genuinely scared. Would do 3AM YouTube Challenges.
#genshin impact#not a quote#fatui#fatui harbingers#dottore#columbina#crucabena#pantalone#pierro#childe#scaramouche#la signora#signora#capitano#sandrone#pulcinella#arlecchino
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my love is a life taker (ben pincus x darius bowman)
(pre chaos theory season 1)
tags : ben in denial of being a boy kisser, nightmares, trauma from isla nublar, mention of being eaten alive by pteranodons, fluff, a pinch of angst??? maybe ?????, idk i love benrius sobs, theyre so cute
the time was 3:06AM. ben was awoken by his usual nightmares of pteranodons in a cold sweat, disorientated and convinced those winged creatures were coming for him. again.
his breaths were heavy, eyes wide as he sat upright in his bed, the college dorms quiet. he felt light, weak, like he was falling from the monorail again.
he clutched at his chest, willing himself to calm down. his dreams, or nightmares for a better word always end with him dying, either from hitting the ground too hard, or being painfully torn apart by the pteranodons, and the only thoughts going through his head then are;
i wont be able to see darius again.
he doesnt know why darius is the first person to come to mind when he thinks about dying. everytime he thinks about darius, he gets nervous, and giddy.
but hes not gay. or, at least he thinks so. hes been with girls before but.. darius is different. more special.
ben sighs, running his hands down his face as he inhales shakily. he picks up his phone, checking through his messages, unaware that darius was also doing the same.
darius, distracted from late night work from the dpw, texts ben,
"you up?"
bens heart almost explodes out of his chest. but there it is, that feeling again. like his heart is going to explode.
ben texts back in an instant, his fingers fumbling over the screen,
"yeah"
darius takes a minute to respond,
"nightmares again?"
ben mentally curses himself. the fact that darius knew how often his nightmares were made him feel embarrassed.
"yeah, and just thinking about stuff"
that stuff being you, ben thought. but what was he meant to say? hey! you're my best friend and i think im gay for you! hope this doesnt make things awkward!
of course its gonna make things awkward, he tells himself. hes cool with gay people, hell, he even helped yaz and sammy. but why is it so hard to accept that he might like guys too?
he almost forgets hes texting darius. almost.
"what stuff?"
darius responds. ben lowers his phone, resisting the urge to just smash it into pieces, but he also wants to tell darius whats going on.
so he lies.
"college :/"
he doesnt give a shit about college right now. hes been so preoccupied with trying to figure himself out.
he even went to sammy.
they met up for a 'coffee', but ben just wanted to get her advice.
"ben? what's eatin' ya? you're never this quiet.." sammy notices, her eyebrows furrow as she slightly leans over the small table.
ben sighs, running his hand through his hair, "i... its about darius." he says quietly.
"what? he not pickin' up again? because i swear to god i told him!-"
"no! no.. its.. god.." he groans, leaning back in the chair and covering his face with his hands.
"ben.." sammy drags out, wanting to know whats going on. ben suddenly leans forward, looking down at the coffee cup in his hands before looking up at sammy,
"how.. how did you know you were lesbian?" he whispers.
a flash of confusion appears on sammys face, before her eyes widen, the pieces fitting together.
"you.. like darius..?" she asks quietly, to which ben nods.
"i- i know you can like both guys and girls but i.. why cant i accept it as easily as you did?" he whispers, the frustration evident in his voice.
sammy puts her hand over bens,
"i didnt accept it right away." she admits quietly, "nearly no one does."
ben looks at her, his eyes slightly widened.
"you didnt?" he whispers, to which sammy shakes her head.
"it took a while.." she shrugs, "but.. y'know. i got there! and i got the best girlfriend in the world!" she smiles.
ben wants to smile, but he cant.
"sammy, i- i dont know if darius swings that way. what if i tell him and it ruins everything?" he whispers, all these thoughts swirling in his head.
"you wont know unless ya tell him." she says, squeezing bens hand reassuringly.
"how?" ben asks, his voice strained.
"just tell him." sammy nods, "you dont gotta know what ya are right away... jus' know what you're feelin'."
he doesnt know the amount of times hes typed out a paragraph to darius, and then deleted it out of fear of being shunned.
bens fingers hover over the call button. he doesnt wanna do it over text, its too.. sleazy..
bens finger accidentally presses the call button, and before he can cancel it, darius picks up.
"hey, ben. you okay? you dont usually call." darius' voice rings out from the phone.
"yeah- yeah, i'm uh, fine-" ben mentally slaps himself for sounding like he just ran a marathon and back.
"you dont sound it." darius hums.
"i gotta tell you something, d." the words slip out of bens mouth before he can even catch the letters from falling out.
theres a beat before darius responds,
"...what is it?" darius says quietly.
ben doesnt know how to respond, so he rambles. says whatever his heart is telling him.
"d. i love you. and not in like, a-a friend way. i wanna hold your hand, and kiss you, and be seen with you as your boyfriend. i wanna hold you and sleep next to you and take you out on dates and treat you how you deserve to be treated-" he stops himself with a shaky breath.
darius is quiet. too quiet.
fuck. ben thinks.
"really?" darius muses, ben cant read his tone.
"yeah.. really." ben swallows nervously.
ben really is hoping darius swings that way right now, to save him from the embarrassment.
"well.. uh.. yeah, yeah.. so do i." darius says quietly, tripping over his words. bens heart almost stops.
"what?" he asks.
darius laughs, "i feel the same, ben."
"well, uh.. thats um.. great." ben says, unsure on how to react now.
he can hear darius moving around,
"can i drop by tomorrow? figure things out between us?" darius asks.
bens voice catches in his throat, "yes-" he clears his throat,
"yeah. you can. you- you need directions?" ben asks.
"already know where you are. and uh... sammy told me already." darius chuckles,
"sam- oh my god.." bens face burns up, and he hears darius laughing again.
and by god, is it the most beautiful sound ben has ever heard.
#benrius#ben pincus#darius bowman#camp cretaceous#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jurassic world chaos theory#ben pincus x darius bowman#darius bowman x ben pincus#sammy gutierrez#fanfic#jwcc#jwct#i love them#gay#lgbt#cuties#SOBS#SCREAMS#CRIES#benrius brain rot#benrius fic
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*foams at the mouth like a rabid animal*
ROMANTIC JAX X READER :3 :3 :3
Jax x reader hcs (general romance)
Writing this opening while fighting my inner demons (tummy ache) and I am LOSING!!
Notes: reader is gn, short post, jax is not very clear on his affections but he's trying... in his own way...
CWs: none
he teases you.... a lot... like a lot a lot
its different than how he teases or makes fun of the others- he doesnt go as hard with you or be as persistent to get a reaction... but he still pokes fun at you
in the beginning he... really didnt know how to let up enough for it to be fun and innocent so expect him to say something that goes a little too far until he figures out whats okay for you and what isnt
youre going to need to be hard with your boundaries, too- he likes pushing to see how far he can go... not just with you but with everyone in the circus. he views it like a game... you unfortunately might need to snap back in order for him to fully understand that its not cool
the crushing phase is brutal- hes got the cooties mindset and thinks romance is yucky and for softies and he hates himself for catching feelings like this... unfortunately fits in the "hes being an asshole because he has a crush on you" saying... sighs...
almost gets offended if you let his "advances" roll off your back with no acknowledgement
doesnt know how to receive affection, he kind of shrinks back like cats do when you try to pet him- but he loooooves giving it
not exactly because he likes loving up on you, no he just thinks its amusing how flustered you get
a lot of his affection for you is communicated through subtle body language and actions- the way his face drops when youre genuinely upset or how he stops what hes doing to listen to you are small things to show that he does care for you and your feelings
#tadc x reader#tadc x you#tadc imagine#the amazing digital circus x reader#the amazing digital circus x you#the amazing digital circus imagine#amazing digital circus x reader#amazing digital circus x you#amazing digital circus imagine#digital circus x reader#jax x reader#jax x you#jax imagine#canon x reader#canon x you#x reader
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anton in bed is different like that man doesnt just have fuck he makes love
but like.. riize as frat boys mtl love making or quick fuck?
love making or quick fuck w riize frat boys omg
so real anton hits different literally and figuratively
most - quick fuck
shotaro
seunghan
eunseok
sungchan
wonbin
anton
sohee
least - love making
elaboration ⬇️
shotaro - frat boy taro speaks to me maybe its cz hes my man or maybe its cz of the vibe that would radiate idk. to me him and seunghan are pretty tied for this but i see taro as slightly more. frat boy taro almost always fucks while high so a lot of the time its the weed that gets him talking, he could walk past you the next day without saying a word.
seunghan - him as a frat boy would be SO mean like if u see my vision then yk what i mean. he just does it for fun. he makes you feel like you’re special than you’ll see him walking with his new victim of the week a day after.
eunseok - hes horny and a college kid, need i say more? if he really wanted to he could make love but if he wants quick relief like a hormonal teen he’d sweet talk you then leave like its nothing.
sungchan - hes in the middle because he would quick fuck as a bet to prove a point to a friend but it’d be a spur in the moment type thing. with him sometimes it could lead to something else and your hook ups could turn into a little more.
wonbin - him and the others below him are too much of lover boys to hit then dip. in my opinion i just dont see wonbin as the type in general. would i say love making is his forte? probably not, but to him it’s never just gonna be a one time thing.
anton - practically baby making ngl. anton takes this so seriously he could not see himself with anyone but you. it’s just so hard for him to be fast when all he wants is to have you, he is slow and sensual and just swoons over you.
sohee - when this man is in love he is IN LOVE. sohee makes you feel like you’re the only girl in the world in and out of bed, he doesn’t fuck unless you’re locked in like that cause sex is something too intimate for him to do with someone he hardly knows even if its just once.
#gyuvision#riris inbox <3#gyuvision - riize#riize x reader#riize smut#anton x reader#anton smut#sohee x reader#sohee smut#seunghan x reader#seunghan smut#wonbin smut#wonbin x reader#sungchan smut#sungchan x reader#eunseok smut#eunseok x reader#shotaro smut#shotaro x reader
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Id like to talk about Clay as a father,
(I dont have my thoughts together about this so bear with me)
So everyone knows hes a horrible father, but i think that in his own twisted way he tried to break the cycle, which allowed Orel to become the father he was shown as in the last episode.
Now, obviously it took Clay some time to actually try to be a father, because until Orel was 4 he neglected him, i like to think because the thought of being the same thing as his father was too much for him, but neglecting was also too much and he couldnt admit thats what he was doing, so he was torn and felt worthless. (Clay literally says he didnt know how to be a father in trust)
In Passing you can see how Arthur was hurting by Angelas death and took it all out on Clay by hitting him, which clay saw as approval. Now with Orel, Clay does so much more than that. While Arthur basically threw old gunny in Clay's face and said "fuck off", Clay actually took Orel hunting. (Or attempted to) and because Arthur didnt take Clay hunting as a kid, Clay drank, a lot more than he usually does. (He always has a glass in his hand, but in Nature he was just chugging bottle after bottle) It could also probably be because he didnt have any responsibilities except for killing animals, so he could drink and relax but i like to think its because it was hard for him to do anything father and son related when he didnt know how fathers are supposed to act.
Also, Clay states "If i can prepare you for the bleakness of adulthood, i've done my job" which i think he had to figure out on his own, with no mother and a father who doesnt care about him. So, again, in a way, he tried to be a better father than Arthur.
ALSO!! the fact that Clay never tells Orel "I love you" back probably shows that he doesnt know how to say it, so thats probably something Orel picked up from Bloberta, im just not sure in which instance she would ever say "I love you" to her family, because she doesnt love them. (Other than trying to prove Orel wrong, like them pretending to love each other in Grounded and Gods Blunders.)
I think that when Clay was saying something and trying to piss Arthur off, he was trying to say "I love you" and when Arthur hit him back, he took it as "I love you too, son" but eventually, Clay saw it for what it actually was, which is dementrated in Trust because he actually states that he feels worthless when in his fathers presence. In fact, the only time Clay ever says "I love you" in when in the presence of another man, to another man.
I think Orel tries to see this, too, despite his hurt from Clays abuse becuase i believe whole heartedly that he lets his children see Clay and Bloberta, if he didnt he wouldnt put a picture of them on the wall next to Block and Shapey.
I have more thoughts on this but this is just too messy and im not normal about anything in this show
(Side note, in Sacrifice Clay is walking out of his study and copys Shapey when he says yummy, and interaction is only something that happened before Angela died, i cant see anything positive happening between Clay and Arthur after Angela died so uh yeah)
oh i agree
i DEFINITELY agree
clay is the embodiment of "i will not be my father" and decides to be somehow WORSE
#moral orel#moral orel passing#moral orel sacrifice#arthur puppington#clay puppington#orel puppington
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Its 7am atm but my brain won’t shut up about this idea I have
Just thinking about their reactions to reader struggling with clothes - too tight or too loose
Not proofread, apologies for the errors
Tags: xgn!reader, suggestive tones(18+ mdni), I suppose this is also like pervy!cod members in some sense xD, mentioned of injury, possessive, musk kink(?), markings, tattoo
John Price
Everyone was given a new pair of military gears and outfits today, you had placed and wrote down the size you wanted previously
And yet still somehow they messed it up and your pants came in smaller than your regular size
You decided to try it on anyways because you can’t do much
That was a mistake
You pulled the pants, trying and skipping around as it gets caught around your ass, you gave another few more try before ultimately giving up, realizing that you might tore the fabric in the process
And so you push it back down, only to realize it wont budge
Great
You lay down on the floor, hands splayed on the floor as you let out a loud defeated sigh
“You alright there?” Price came by as he heard your voice, halting as he sees you on the floor
“I give up” you say as you craned your neck to look at him and pointed your pants
“Cant fit and cant remove it” you said before frowning and gestured your pants
He laughs slightly before kneeling before you
“Let me help”
He said as he gives those pants a tug, and it doesnt budge
He grumbles slightly as he lower down the zipper slightly, thank god you had a black tight pants on(like those swimmer type idk the type wheeze but just know you’re not in undies)
He tries again but it didnt move, so he held your knees up slightly, “close your legs” he said before shifting slightly
With a harder grip, he yanks the pants and this time it finally moved, but you also moved along side with it due to his strength, slapping his knee-thigh area with your ass
You blush slightly as you propped yourself up with your elbow, but Price didn’t say anything as he gives another tug
He continues doing that and each time your skin would come in contact with him, making a small slap sound every time, you can’t help but felt like you’re in quite a suggestive situation, and the grunts and curses he lets out only made things worse
Bit by bit he managed to pull it out until your knees, where you wiggle the rest of it out without much struggle
There were a few red marks on your thighs by the time the pants was removed, he traced one of it with his thumb and whispered
“Does it hurt?”
It took you a second to register his question before you shake your head, he gives a nod as his fingers lingered for awhile, before clearing his throat as he leaves, you missed the warmth of his fingers
“I’ll get you a new pair” “okay”
You slapped your cheeks after he left to hopefully set your mind straight, get a grip, he’s your captain ffs! you thought to yourself
Little did you know, Price was fighting his own struggles as he watch your thighs jiggle with every tug, and your skin was so soft and the way you stared up at him with those eyes of yours made him go crazy inside
He knows he shouldn’t be having these thoughts, but man oh man
How would it feel like having them littered with bite marks and hickies? How would it feel like if he were to use those squishy thigh to slide his hard-
He prayed you didn’t catch on his thoughts when he stood up, an bulge forming in his pants
Kyle Gaz Garrick
You queued up at a clothing shop, excited to try on one of those compression shirt that you’ve been wanting to get since you seen them online, and it just so happened that this specific black one is on sale
But you know how it is with items that are on sale, they often come in sizes that are either too big or too small
In your case, too small
You tried it on regardless, wedging it through your head with a few grunts
Eventually you got it on, and you looked good, the shirt clearly hugging onto your figure and showing off your features
But you can barely breathe
“Sweetheart ye done?” Your boyfriend Kyle asked as he knocks your door gently
You adjusted yourself better and held your breath as you open the door and grin
His eyes widen as he takes in your form, hands already on you as he praises and smirk back at you
“Holy damn- look at you, my sexy thing~”
He gave you a lil turn until he realized your breath were strained, and you were using your neck muscles more, not to mention each breath you took was shorter and more frequent
He instantly pulled the shirt around your chest a little, then frowning as he stared back at you with nothing but concerns in his eyes
“Hey its too tight isnt it?” He whispered softly as he rest his warm hands on your waist
“Yeah but, I look good though”
“Nuh uh, that doesn’t matter if you can’t breathe baby”
“But its on sale!”
“We can go other outlet to check it”
“Thats so much trouble though”
“Its not I promise, lets get these out okay?”
He gave a kiss on your head as he slowly raised em up, until it was around your chest
“Jesus…” he mutters in a whisper as he takes a look at you through the mirror, the shirt did looked hella good on you, but seeing your skin exposed like this? Mmm that’s a better view
You watched as he slowly kneel down and trace his lips around your hips, you squirmed slightly as you nudge his head
“K-kyle, we cant-“
“Shh”
He shushed before kissing on your skin, nibbling it as he left them everywhere, then giving a hard suck just above your V line all of the sudden as you let out a choked sob
He lets go and lick his lips as he looks up at you with a devilish grin
“I’ll wait outside, yeah?”
He whispered when he stood up and left the changing room, you contemplated if you seriously needed that compression shirt as you look at the mark he left you, god does he knows just how to rile you up
Simon Ghost Riley
You hissed out with a suppressed groan as you lay against the couch with a bandage over your abdomen, without painkillers the dull aching pain was getting to you
You had a stab wound at the very last moment during the mission and Ghost had to settled it hastily with the med kit, bringing you to a safe house nearby
You didnt even realize you had goosebumps all over your arm as you shiver slightly, your shirt was torn in the process and some of it were used as a makeshift tourniquet to cut off the blood supply, now only having a pillow covering your chest
“Here”
You heard a gruff voice behind you as something was tossed over your head, you quickly picked it up and realize it was one of his spare t shirt
You complied and wore it, realizing it was HUGE, the hem of the shirt extended until your thighs and the sleeves were covering until your forearm
You let out a hum of amusement as you whispered back a small “thanks” as you slide back to the couch
It smelled like him, and its warm and rather cozy, and that gave you a some comfort
You closed your eyes as you pulled up the shirt slightly so that the neckline was covering your nose, inhaling it and breathing slowly until eventually you dozed off
It will take a few hours before help can arrive anyways
Ghost had been watching from the side, and seeing how his clothe draped over your form has definitely awaken something in him
He slowly, and quietly kneel down beside you, careful not to stir you awake as he observes and look at you closely
God, he’d never realize how good you looked in something that was his
He wonders how you would look like with nothing but his big t shirt
It felt like he was marking you in some ways, showing off(albeit theres no one else) to everyone that you’re his(even though you’re not……yet)
What really made him clenched his jaw was how you were inhaling his smell, did you liked his scent that much? Mmm if only…
If only he could take you and cover you in his musk, rubbing it off on yours, letting everyone knows just who claimed you
John Soap MacTavish
You were training with him today to improve your hand-to-hand combat skills
One thing about Soap is that he will never go easy on you
So he would flip you, get you into a headlock, knocked you over with every chance he get
“Come on, yer need to faster rookie”
You huff and glare back at him as you take your stance, muscles already aching as you tug your pants
You regretted wearing this one
For some reason, you couldn’t find any regular pants you wear and so you dug out this old pants, but it was much bigger and it was falling every few seconds
You would’ve worn a belt, you should’ve worn a belt but you were rushing and didn’t thought about it
As you get distracted, Soap lunged on you as you barely avoided his fist, but he was fast as he gave a kick on your feet, tumbling you down for probably the 20th time on this session as you yelped
He grin and lets out a victorious laugh as he looked down on you, then stops as he notice just a small part of your undies revealing, along with a tattoo that was around your back, oh
You were on the ground, with your face towards the floor and ass towards him as you groan, panting out a few breaths as you try to lift yourself up slowly
“Giving up already?” He tuts as he comes closer and squat down, taking a better look at your backside with half-lidded eyes
He never knew you had tattoo, and it’s one of those tramp stamp nonetheless, which was really hot in his opinion. You had a small symmetrical wings with some thorns beside it as a design
But what really caught his attention was the hem of your undies, black, nothing crazy but still, it clearly distracts him enough that he didnt realize you were watching him stare at you
“Enjoying the view, Sarge?”
You wiggle your ass as he snapped out of his trance and cleared his throat, looking away with a blush.
“Ah-sorry, didnt mean to stare”
“You can stare”
He looked back at you with a frown as you flash him a grin, arching your back slightly as you wiggle your ass again
“Yer gonna be the death of me” he said with a laugh as he slaps your ass slightly, making you yelp as you giggled and tries to sit up, only to be yanked by your leg as he spins you around
Your legs were now beside his waist as he pulls you close, grinding on you as you blush
“Lets get on with a few private lessons…yeah?”
a/n: im updating Gaz's color with pink instead of yellow bcuz my friend mentioned it was hard to see if someone uses light mode tumblr :]
#gomzwrites#cod mw22#cod mwii#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#cod imagines#mw2 x reader#cod fanfic#mw2 fanfic#cod smut#simon ghost riley x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#captain john price x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#smut#call of duty smut#cod x reader smut
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so...... april fools shuffle unit vs anyone?
welcome to the usual keep reading lore yapping section. will try to keep this fairly concise but i make no promises it did not stay concise. im sorry in advance
aoharu - park sekai vs theme: high school students in a band, but unlike leoni vs, their afterschool practices are outside of the school
miku - the "cool senpai", except shes not actually older than aoharu... in fact, shes younger than all of aoharu (if only barely younger than ichika)! shes a 1st year high schooler like ichisaki! but she is the mentor figure to them in her experience with music. - shes also not actually that "cool" once you get to know her, although shes pretty chill shes also got some rather silly interests. including collecting stickers to stick on her guitar case. - the main vocalist of the band, but shes got a bit of experience with most of the instruments that the others play. shes no expert but she knows how to play any of them. currently trying to improve her guitar skills! she brings it around with her a lot of the time for the impression it gives to others
len - alongside rin, they main guitar and keyboard. most of the time its len on guitar and rin on keyboard, but theyre both capable of filling both roles and swap occasionally. hes the one usually helping miku improve her guitar skills! unlike miku though, he doesnt carry his guitar around everywhere he goes. - playful but laidback. hell mess with his friends but hes not going around getting into trouble besides that, really - also a 1st year! in fact, the kagamines and miku are childhood friends :) theyve managed to stick together for a long time
yyj - backstage sekai vs theme: idols who have been kind of... abandoned by their management and have to take up those roles themselves
miku - cheerful, bubbly, what you'd typically expect from an idol... except shes also stressed out of her mind because yeah, the sekai isnt exactly... hospitable, to say the least. it doesnt always show and she can cool down from it, but when you live in a world of sprawling hallways and rooms that should have people in them but dont, it definitely has some Effects. - when shes not worrying about that shes quite dedicated to her practice, after all, an idol never stops! - her energy transfers into a bit of everything she does, really. fast talker, fast walker, she can be hard to keep up with if you arent ready for it.
luka - a more mature, gentle idol. she can put on plenty of energy when performing, but she takes things at an easier pace outside of practice. she enjoys her quiet free time. - a lot less tense than miku is about the whole sekai situation, not to say she doesnt feel the effects of it either. shes just better at hiding her feelings about it.
fts - alleyway sekai vs theme: street musicians, but in a darker, rougher direction than vbs
miku - is this a miku or a mikuo? no one really knows and theyre not telling. theyll answer to miku regardless. - very much a troublemaker, gets into fights a lot. can be tough to get along with because theyre pretty abrasive, but they also know their purpose as a sekai miku. getting help from them can just be frustrating sometimes - kaito has been trying to get them to cool down a bit, to mixed success
kaito - livehouse owner (i havent named his livehouse yet...), kind of a stern dad guy. cool, tough, serious, you get the idea. not a bad guy, but he will be hard on fts and the other vs when they need to be straightened out. - despite that, his livehouse is open to performers of all experience levels. just prove youre willing to give it your best shot and hell let you perform. this is a problem for fts, when theyre struggling to get things together as a unit.
hapisen - headquarters sekai vs theme: comic book/cartoon superheroes! they even live in a superhero tower!
miku - shes kinda your straightforward superhero prodigy type, extremely talented as a hero despite her young age. loud, energetic, but very kind and happy to help anyone in need. - by extension shes also got your very typical superhero powers. flight, super strength, etc. she doesnt use them that often around the base though, in fact, most of the vs dont use their powers in the base that often. better off saving them for when theyre out doing hero things!
rin - one half of a superhero pair, obviously. her powers do function on their own and shes capable of doing things without help, but shes a bit weak on her own. but when together with len, their powers amplify to something stronger than either of them separately. i think they probably have electricity powers. - shes a bit reckless in the field, but shes very enthusiastic about being a superhero! super high energy girl, always bouncing around the base getting ready for whenever shes needed next
kyushumi - woodland sekai vs theme: fae royalty, specifically with a butterfly style focus
miku - very quiet and reserved, shes a bit awkward during interactions with most people, but shes well meaning. no ones sure where she came from, even the other vs, and that might have something to do with how she acts - she will stare at you from the bushes and youll just have to get used to it. shes just curious about things, and she wants to observe kyushumi to figure out the best ways she can try to help them.
meiko - technically the fae queen? but she doesnt often act like it, she tries to be more approachable. shes still got a bit of an imposing aura, but shell act more warm and kind to those around her. she is secretive though, and despite her kindness, theres a bit of detachment from everyone. - mikus guardian, since no one really knows how miku got here, so someone has to keep an eye on her. she also considers herself kyushmis guardian, but since theyre not always within reach due to the disconnect between sekais and the real world, theres only so much she can do. she tries her best with what she can
#under the read more is a. giant wall of text. im sorry in advance.#project sekai#prsk art#project sekai fanart#prsk fa#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#hatsune miku#kagamine rin#kagamine len#megurine luka#meiko#meiko vocaloid#kaito#kaito vocaloid#april fools shuffle units#w1f1 draws
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